"I thought I had done all the healing work...."

During two of my Discovery Consultations ☎️ with potential new clients, this week, both women said almost the same thing. It was along the lines of:

‟I have done so much healing work. I have dealt with my stuff, but I’m thinking maybe I haven’t because I am still not okay. I keep attracting people and situations that don’t feel right.“

This is a really common concern I hear when speaking with individuals who are considering my type of coaching. This is because we don't just work on surface level stuff; we are digging deep – REALLY DEEP. 

Most women who call me, say they have invested hundreds of hours, thousands of $ and read dozens of 📚 for healing and it still doesn’t feel like they are where they thought they would be.

My new clients were expressing that they are frustrated. 😖

They felt like they have been spinning their wheels and their efforts have been pointless. I understand this frustration all too well.

You see, every obstacle you overcome, every level you reach is peeling away a layer – leaving something new raw and exposed. 

Often this feels confusing because you may feel like you are back where you started. You may be reacting the same, feelings are usually somewhat similar, the triggers, the emotions feel like something you have experienced before.. 

This may sound awful, and why would anyone want to do this?! 

But can I tell you – this is actually amazing! 

This is what I shared with these two women:

It is only with this new rawness that you are able to get to the NEXT level, to create and even stronger connection with self and through this become that much more centered, unshakeable and sure about yourself. 

I find that it is usually these vulnerable stages that ramp up our day-dreams of what life “should” look like. 

These vulnerable stages also help us determine the feelings or situations we want to move further away from - which can inspire change, increase determination and courage. 

New “pain” provides a reason to be introspective and evolve even more. 

Do you agree, there is always another level? 

I do and that because we are human, unless or until you reach enlightenment there will probably be some suffering in most if not all of them. 

You can make use of the suffering though.  
🦋 Allow it to give you purpose.
🦋 Allow it to make you more compassionate.  
🦋 Allow it to help you be more generous and understanding.

It is providing you the opportunity to get clearer;
🔎 Clearer stronger boundaries
🔎 A Clearer, bigger why and 
🔎 Clearer, stronger desires to keep you motivated and moving forward.

Allow this new level help you evolve.

As you grow and you experience these new vulnerable feelings - explore them. As if you can hold them in your hand and inspect every little detail.

Don’t be scared, the discomfort will go away soon enough, and it will be replaced with even more Wisdom and Confidence.

Move toward your next level of healing and when you are ready, I encourage you to get support. Find a coach or close friend to help you see the details from all different angles and perspectives. I’m always here if you would like to talk.

It can be so helpful to get an “emotional tour guide” who can help you travel deeper into yourself and your thoughts. Their objective perspective may help you discover hidden treasures about yourself that you either forgot existed or never had a chance to know before.

And here is some more great news:

Eventually, when a new level is exposed, what was once pain now just feels like a tap on the shoulder to get your attention so you can take a better look at what will best serve your highest-self.


i fucked things up.jpg

In more ways than one. 

Most of us have a few traits that cause us the most grief in life.  


A lot of times people tell us what they are and usually it doesn’t feel great to hear.  

Sometimes we figure it out on our own. 

And sadly, sometimes, people will never know - They remain baffled by the suffering they cause for themselves for years and years.


I have a few aspects of my behavior that do not serve me.. AT ALL. 

Probably the one that has held me back the most is my lack of boundaries.  


I used to get myself in situations that I didn’t know how to get out of.  This stemmed from wanting to be open minded, fair .. I am a Libra, after all.  


I also understand now that is was because I did not want to be alone or rejected so I denied how I was feeling and accepted behavior that deep down did not feel good.  


I would try to ignore the feelings of anxiety that would creep up and I’d listen to my inner critic and the manipulators around me tell me how I’m a mess, I get upset to easy, I’m too sensitive, I need to learn to let shit go. 


As time would go on, everything would trigger me around the situations.  Every time I was quiet and still thoughts would spin in my head, I would begin to resent what I accepted, and unconsciously I felt the person owed me because I sacrificed and did what they wanted. 


I wanted to be accommodating and “compromise” but I was only ever compromising myself.  


Another big challenge was how often my intentions were not seen as positive.  


While I did and do have totally positive and pure intentions, they were getting mixed into my feelings of resentment from giving in more than I really wanted.  And then things felt like survival mode all of the time.


It all made sense when I started to relate it to how everything is energy.  Our body, our emotions our communications.  So, my positiveattempt to be accommodating was mixing with thenegativeenergy of resentment.  


It is no wonder I was taken wrong so often; I was sending out very conflicting energy.


I have experienced a lot of suffering from this behavior and many of my relationships suffered from it as well. I’ll admit I still have these tendencies; I am very aware though not always in time to save a situation, but I am committed to trying to transition into a new version of me.  


I have done and do a lot of inner work.  A LOT. Which is why I am finally getting to some core beliefs that cause these behaviors.  I’m not saying that means those tendencies are gone, but at least there is potential. Lately all of this work has helped me discover some serious deep-rooted shit.  There is a lot that can happen when you start doing the inner work.  Often you see just how much shit there is – a gut punch of a reality check of what a mess you are, or life has been.  


This is why even though I think it is important to work on yourself, it is even more important and valuable to work WITH someone.  The value an objective observer brings to your healing and self-awareness is absolutely priceless. They can be the support when you need it, the nudge when you are pussy footing and the praise and acknowledgement when you have pushed through something.  


Also, because this person is simply an observer, they hear exactlywhat you have saidwithout the distractions of what you feel.  This is when breakthroughs happen.  Thoughts are what lead to feelings, and then feelings affect your thoughts… Until you get them both right, you are going to stay stuck, anxious and all the other unwanted emotions.


Thank goodness for all of the awesome modalities out there.  Thank goodness for all of the amazing practitioners.  Thank goodness for the potential to heal even when it feels impossible!


This support is incredibly valuable when it comes to changing mindset and beliefs – changing your life!


·     Have you worked with anyone yet?  

·     If so tell me how it helped, what was your favorite part?

·     And if you haven’t, I’d love to know why.  

·     What is stopping you?  

·     What would help you move toward working with someone?


If you are interested, this is what I do, and I would love to speak with you to see if I could help.